In a disturbing act of deviance, veteran Laconian celebrity Madonna attempted to walk the red carpet at the 84th Annual Bulge awards in a black mask of her own design. She was promptly detained for questioning. She released this statement following her arrest:
“Sometimes you feel you need a change, and I just got up this morning and thought…you know what?…it’s Now or Never”
She was then detained a second time, and released a second statement:
“Hey….you know what’s reaaaaalllllllllly cooooooooooool? Wearing the mask….yeah I love the Mask!”
Eyewitness accounts to Madonna’s second statement may have noted her slurred speech and facial bruising, but the Mayor’s representatives reassure the public that this was due to Madonna’s collapse onto a doorknob following a persistent dizzy spell.
Truly disturbing, I trust this situation won't repeat itself.
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